I was never told growing up that my hair was beautiful and I have heard many similar stories amongst young black girls. Instead we were told our hair was “difficult to manage”, “nappy”, and “that nothing could be done with it.”
Except of course a perm. The hallelujah of many moms of girls with natural hair. As soon as mothers are fed up with doing hair, the perm goes in. And what we are told is “oh your hair looks so beautiful, you look so good.” Or girls feel pressured from other kids at school to conform to the perm, weave, wig, the whatever else besides their natural hair.
I grew up always wanting long flowy hair, hair that blows in the wind and your hand can run through it easy, like what I saw white people’s hair did on tv. I didn’t see many people on tv with my hair. Maybe my hair type wasn’t beautiful I thought as child. Only the beautiful types get put in the spot light. I would think to myself that my mom thinks it difficult to take care of and my dad like the braids in my hair. But no one likes it for what it is. And everyone when they get older gets a perm eventually or gets braids, locs, something other than keeping it regular like I had. So when I was a teenager I got a perm. I conformed. And it burned all my hair off! My hair did not like the perm at all. Poor me. I was back to my natural hair in twists unwillingly. What was I to do..? So I got locs. (which yes, I know is still natural. But right now I’m specifically talking about natural hair other than locs.)
Now let me clarify. This is not a perm bashing rant. But a chance to present a new idea for most. To embrace their natural hair how God made it. I have nothing against perms, wigs, weaves, braids or any of it. But I think it is a real problem if women feel that they can’t wear their hair natural because they don’t feel beautiful or they don’t think it looks good. Where the heck did that idea come from? Well, probably from what they learned growing up and what people have told them. Everyone other race can wear their hair the way it grows out of their head with no problem. No one will ever think twice about it. But if a black girl does, it’s a whole big deal. That’s so wrong.
Well what does the bible say? Psalm 139: 13-14 says “For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb… I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
God created us each special. He formed us in the womb and knew us before we were born. Vs. 16 says “your eyes saw my unformed body” How special is that! God loves us so much and formed us each individually. God took special attention to make us with each detail. He made people of different races and different skin color and different hair type and eye color and shape. When we say we don’t like our natural hair we slap God in the face. He made it and everything he made is good.
So one day I decided to cut my locs and go more natural. I didn’t know what to expect but I did it. I realized I had no idea what I was doing or what to do with my hair. Thank God for youtube and natural hair forums! I got all the products and watched what other people did. I slowly started to like my hair for what it was..until I wasn’t supported by family once again. God had to show me the verses above and have certain people speak into my life his truths. God thought I looked beautiful my whole life in any way I wore my hair.
With my renewed thinking, I decided I won’t care what people think! I don’t need anyone to tell me my hair is beautiful. I love my hair the way it is growing out of my head. I learned how to do different styles. I started to love the way my hair felt in my hands. I loved that my fingers didn’t go through right away! I loved the coils and curls. They started to become beautiful to me. I couldn’t believe I ever wanted different hair! No other hair types do what my hair does! The texture is unique, the coils are one of a kind. For the first time in my life I looked in the mirror and was happy with how God made me. I wouldn’t change it for the world.